North Korean media sources are reporting that strange natural events have occurred in the wake of the death of Kim Jong-il. Ice has cracked on frozen rivers with a thunderous sound, that reportedly shook heaven and earth. A strange red glow, illuminating the words of the former leader that are carved into a mountain, was present all day yesterday. However, these events are not merely restricted to North Korea.
The sleepy Oxfordshire village of Cuddesdon has apparently been deserted by all of it's birdlife. Local birder, Tom, said yesterday: "It was incredible. Usually I go for a walk in this area and the fields are stuffed full of Grey Partridges, Corncrakes and Quails. The hedgerows are so overloaded with finches and buntings that at times it is difficult to see the bushes. Yes, you literally can't see the wood for the birds! And as for migration periods - phew! The sky is actually dark with Siberian Thrushes and Olive-backed Pipits. Pallas's Warblers cloud around you like mosquitoes - you have to swat them out of the way to get down some public footpaths. It's like Beidaihe on acid." However, this morning something had changed. Tom goes on to say: "I walked down through the hedgerows and saw not a single bird. The newly planted winter wheat and rape seed fields were devoid of wildlife. The freshly cut hedgerows held not a single Yellowhammer. It was almost as if the birds had fled the area as a mark of respect for Kim Jong-il. Either that or modern farming methods are slashing bird populations, and surely that can't be the case. Can it?".